Chasing A Man - The #1 Reason He Runs

 
Hey lovely ones!

I've not posted anything in a while but I decided to do post today because I get asked this question ALL the time. A number of you whom I've seen privately, have asked why I'm so against women chasing men. What is the harm in it when everyone's doing it and most guys don't seem to mind it at all? In fact they seem to expect it these days.

True, true and true again. But here's the one defining question, and it's the ONLY one that matters - How has that worked for you? And if you're reading this article then I'm going to bet that it probably hasn't.

Chasing unpacked
 
Just so we're clear, I'll unpack exactly what 'chasing' entails in a romantic relationship.

In a nutshell, chasing is when you take the bull by the horns and initiate contact. From texting or voice noting him chirpy good morning messages to long chatty emails, quick phone calls just to 'hear your voice', creating cutesy memes and tagging him in it, checking your phone every two minutes for a message from him, whatsaping him countless photos of you, sending him 'reminders' that you're around, inviting him to events or family functions, asking him to help you hang a frame or screw in a lightbulb, buying him gifts or tickets to a show, liking every one of his facebook posts ... these are ALL examples of you initiating contact or chasing a man. And instead of inspiring him to come closer, all you're doing is chasing him away.

Why he's running

Looking back, and knowing what I do now, this running behaviour makes perfect sense. Close your eyes for a quick second and imagine that a predatory animal (like a lion or a tiger) is chasing you. What are you going to do? You'll run like hell, right?! And that's exactly what guys do. When we chase after masculine men, we start looking like predatory animals and their instinctive reaction, is to run. Fast! Most of the time, they don't even properly realise why they're running. In fact at first they're trying to figure out what's going on and so they allow it for a while, until it just feels too weird 'something feels very off' and they know they've got to get away as quickly as possible.

Natural hunters

That 'something' is the upside down nature of events. Men are natural hunters. It's wired into their DNA and even though this is the 21st century, DNA is DNA, it's wired tight and there's no getting away from it.

Masculine energy men thrive on the thrill of the chase. But when YOU chase a man, it upsets the natural order of things. It feels wrong. Not just to the man but at your deepest level, it feels wrong to you too. How do you know it? It's that uncomfortable/ panicky feeling you have in your gut every time you do it. And is followed by the even more uncomfortable/ panicky feeling when he takes hours to respond or he responds with one word or even worse, doesn't respond at all and disappears on you. He's just gone gone gone and you're left totally and utterly puzzled, hurt and rejected.

High quality masculine men

To stop that happening to you again, ladies, STOP chasing. You don't ever need to chase a man. In fact, you don't have to do a single thing but be true to your natural feminine self. If a quality masculine man is 'in' to you, he'll do the chasing. You simply lean back and if he's meant to be in your life, trust me, he will find his way there through hell or high water.

A real man will follow you to the end of the earth and be happy doing it. This I know from personal experience. A real man will cross oceans and shower you with deep love and affection just so he can be part of your world. This is not a grand fairy tale, this is how real high quality masculine men show up when they've found the right woman.

Feminine energy

When you're involved with a masculine energy man, there is no need to chase. Guys who enjoy having a woman chase after them or expect it, are operating in feminine energy, and are not the type of men who will value you like the amazing queen that you are.
 
Let him VALUE you

I know this is a bit much to take in so let's just stop for a second and think about it. We value what we work for and real masculine energy men are exactly the same, they value what they have to work for.

When a man has worked hard for something whether it is a home, promotion, vehicle or the heart of an woman, you can be sure that he places great value on it. But when YOU chase him, you rob him of the opportunity to work … and in turn, you also rob him of the opportunity to value you.

If a man does not value you, then he feels no urgency to build a life with you. If a man does not value you, he feels no urgency to claim you as his partner/ wife.
 
So my ladies please STOP BEING YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY and stop shooting yourself in the foot by chasing men. Trust me, it'll only mess up any chance you have with a high quality masculine man.

To find out what you SHOULD do to develop a deep emotional connection with your guy, keep following my posts. Next one will be on behaviours that seem crazy but work like a bomb!

XXX

Amiena

I hope I've answered this question for you. If you'd like to read some more articles, get relationship tips that actually work, work with me privately or you just want to comment, then drop me a line in the comment section below and I'll respond. x

Do You VASELINE? 10 Real Reasons You Need this Stuff in Your Life

Vaseline?! you ask … VASELINE I reply, nodding my head oh so very sagely. And now I'm going to tell you WHY it is one of the best, most versatile products with exceptional properties, out there.

Very succinctly, it

• Locks moisture into dry and damaged skin, and speeds up skin’s natural recovery process, helping it to heal from within;
• Reduces the appearance of fine, dry lines, and protect your skin and lips against dryness and chapping;
• Is triple purified, non-irritating and hypo-allergenic, making it entirely safe for the whole family to use; and
• Tests conducted by experts from the Journal of Cosmetic Science verify that Vaseline is non-comedogenic which means that it does not clog pores, irritate skin, or cause acne.

That was a snapshot of some of Vaseline’s life-enhancing properties. Keep reading for some truly genius reasons you need it in your everyday life.

1. Eye Makeup Remover 
Vaseline gently removes eyeliner, mascara, shadow and even any eyelash glue that your falsies leave behind. 

2. Smooth Cracked Heels 
Smooth Vaseline into dry cracked heels or elbows, slip on a pair of socks, go to sleep and wake up to healthy, hydrated skin.

3. Highlighter
Swap your highlighter for Vaseline. Dab a small amount on the high points of your face for a dewy, naturally luminous glow and you’re good to go.

4. No-Mess Manicure
Apply Vaseline to your cuticles before polishing your nails to keep colour off of the skin around your nails. You’ll get a perfect manicure—minus the clean-up.

5. Face Cream
Run out of moisturiser? Smooth a tiny amount of Vaseline onto your fingertips and use to moisturise your face. Vaseline is non-comedogenic and won’t clog pores or cause a breakout.

6. Smooth Hair
Use Vaseline to tame frizz and seal dry split ends and even to keep unruly eyebrows in place.

7. DIY Scrub
Dry lips? Add a bit of sugar to your Vaseline to make your own lip scrub. Or mix it with sea salt, and use the mixture in the shower as a body scrub with moisturising benefits.

8. From Powder to Cream
Transform your loose eye shadows/ blushers and bronzers into cream formulas by mixing them with Vaseline. You can also make a tinted lip balm this way.

9. Cuticle Cream
Use a bead of Vaseline and massage into your scraggly cuticles to soften and soothe them.

10. Prevent Hair dye Stain
Dab Vaseline along your hairline, onto your ears and the back of your neck to prevent hair dye from staining your skin.

P.S. 

Just for the record, I've not been sponsored by Vaseline ... I just really like the stuff :)

What is Your Life's Purpose?

WHAT IS THE REAL REASON YOU'RE HERE, THE REASON YOU EXIST AT ALL?

A friend of mine recently identified his life's purpose.

Within hours I saw him transform from someone dabbling at something he loved, to a man on a mission. Fascinated, I watched as over a really short period of time, I'm talking days, his vision began to take shape. The whole universe, it seemed, was conspiring to help him. How exactly I don't know, but the results themselves were indisputable. Help and opportunities seemed to come from the most unexpected places, often without him even looking for it. The Law of Attraction was hard at work, and my friend I'm humbled to say, is just a hair's breath away from living to his full purpose... It takes my breath away.

This got me thinking about My Life's Purpose. At almost 40, I have yet to identify what it is. This is not a judgement - we arrive at our answers precisely when we're meant to, so if now is my time, then ... now is my time.

Research on how to Discover Your Life's Purpose lead me to countless approaches, some more involved than others. Simple works for me so this is the approach I chose. I thought we could do it together!

Here Is How to Discover your Life Purpose in 4 Steps

1. Use a blank page or a word processor. 
2. Write or type “What is my true purpose in life?”.
3. Jot down any answer that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat Step 3 until you arrive at the answer that makes you cry. 

It is as simple as that. Keep at it until the answer finally arrives. You may find it is a combination of answers. It could take 15 minutes or hours, but you will recognize it when it arrives by the way the words vibrate and resonate with you.

THIS is your purpose in life.

I'll be sharing my Life's Purpose with you in my next post, and I would love it if you shared yours with me.

xxx
Amiena

... The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away ...

INTERVIEW - Lay Roo on his latest single Beautiful Sooperstar ft Mr jAZ

You Guys!

Sooooooo, I recently had the huuuge crazy pleasure of interviewing Rapper/ Hip Hop artist Lay Roo while on set filming the music video for his latest single Beautiful Sooperstar, which just so happens to feature the smooth vocals of my boo, Roeshdien - Mr jAZ.

Killer!!! Killer song and such great guys. I had so much fun. And Beautiful Sooperstar ... this song... do yourself a favour and have a listen. I'm posting the links to it on iTunes, Soundcloud and Google Play Music Store right here. You can thank me later :)

As for sooperhero Lay Roo, here's what he's got to say about it.

Lay Roo, the sooperhero himself

What's Beautiful Sooperstar about?
Love. It’s about a guy trying to understand what has him so mesmerised by his girlfriend, until he realises that it’s the sweet little things she does that makes him fall so madly in love with her. I learned a lot from previous relationships and along the way, I discovered that love is all about the little things.

How is it different to your other work?
It’s very different! I’m no stranger to fusing genres but I’ve never really done anything with Jazz before. I wanted to reach a new audience; an audience who generally is not a fan of hip-hip and try to “change their minds”.

How did Mr jAZ come to be on board?
I started working with Mr. Mallum on Crazy Sooper Hero Dreams and we needed a hook for this song. He suggested that Mr. jAZ would be perfect. The moment jAZ wrote those lyrics and laid down those vocals…oooooo!

When did you record it and who produced it?
We recorded it on Christmas eve back in 2012. It was produced by Ebrahim Mallum.

Album Cover of Lay Roo's single Jimi Hendrix

Why hip hop?
Because I can’t sing!I joke! I joke! When I first started listening to NWA, KRS One, LL Cool J, Public Enemy, Snoop, Cypress Hill, The Fresh Prince and P.O.C, to name a few…there was just something about it ... love at first bar! I was actually born with a speech impediment so I couldn’t really express myself. I started writing poetry in order to do so and they later turned into songs. Hip hop is the medium that speaks to my songs.

What do you think is the biggest challenge facing hip hop artists in SA?
Rap always get a bad rap. There are so many challenges and they’re all big. But hip hop still has this ‘negative stigma’ or dark cloud hanging over it. Maybe because there’s so much truth in what we are saying in our music, and it strikes a nerve.

Where do you generally draw your inspiration from?
Life, and the things that I see going on around me, Sooperhero characters and the things that I’ve been through or am still going through in life. I get the craziest ideas after a training session.

Lay Roo showing off his fit self

You're pretty fit. What's that about and why is it so important to you?
I used to play a lot of sport but when I got older, I picked up some injuries and some bad habits, and became quite unfit. I found it hard to write but that all changed once I embraced a healthy lifestyle. So many childhood dreams of mine have already come true because of fitness.

Why sooperhero with 2 oo's? 
The two o’s are actually two smiley faces. The first smiley represents the good and the 2nd, the bad. We all have good and bad within us, even Sooperheroes have flaws, we just have to make sure that we live our lives with the scale tipping in favour of the good.

Who is your sooperhero?
I have many. All my life I looked up to these heroes and I still do but if I can quote one of my favourites - Bruce Lee, “Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own!" So that’s what I did. I learned something from each one of them and added my own.

What are your crazy sooperhero dreams and what's next for Lay Roo?
I’ve got enormous dreams and I am only just getting started! I don’t want to give away my next move but what I can tell you is that I’ve just returned from Europe and am getting ready to launch the first Crazy Sooperhero Dreams EP.

Want to know more?
Find Lay Roo on Facebook, Twitter, Insta and book him HERE.

TABLE MOUNTAIN, CAPE TOWN - A Lifelong Love Affair

My friends

I found these this morning ... 3 little lover's notes I had penned to iconic
Table Mountain, more than 10 years ago. 

(photo credit Brendon Wainwright)

Made me wonder how I ever thought I could stay away, make my home elsewhere when every time I raise my eyes, I always hope to lay them on the world's most beautiful table, when with every breath its slopes tell me I'm home.... my lifelong love affair. 

I hope you enjoy!

Love love love

Amiena xxx

(photo credit koosrossouw)

Obscured in mist

So dense I would loose myself were I to navigate.

Unearthly beauty beckons.

As with all things most dangerous

you whisper coldly for me to follow, invite me within.

And I am drawn as upon weightless clouds to enter

into your midst, knowing well that despair must follow.

And you are temptation, ethereal whispers, snatches

of long ago songs, half glimpsed shadows, …surreal

(penned on a cold winter's morning as Table Mountain lay hidden, shrouded in mist. Utterly, seduced)

 

(photo credit Kate Goss)

 
To God’s door

Above the clouds where angels sigh

Sunlight strokes our faces, is captured in light

And we alone wander amidst aching beauty

Almost undone by the otherworldliness of this place

Till our souls, transcendent, are awash with closeness.

And beyond welcoming waters, obscured by earths hold

Yet clear to the unchained, eternity beckons.

Here is where questing has led us, to Gods door.

Awash with reverence, wondered sighs to the Cherisher,

And all I am capable of, all I am made of, is this moment.

(a hike up to the dams after a week of heavy rains and the landscape so beautiful and transformed, it felt as if we had been transported to a different plane)


 

Table Mountain

I saw you burn, go up in flames

Wild winds raged, stoking your fires

Angry and immortal like the battles above great Olympus.

And no opposing force could stand in their path to diverge your destiny.

Nights and mornings untold rained down your black tears

Into hair, homes, dreams, into every crevice

clogging all thought and slowing our steps.

And you in your palanquin of mist, lay hidden while we watched scared,

waiting to see how you would end, dreading, dying for

the charred husk, all that remained of your ravishment.

(thoughts and fears as I watched Table Mountain burn, its ashes carried by the wind darkening the sky, making us choke, breaking my heart)

TUTORIAL - HOW TO MAKE YOUR EYES LOOK BIGGER IN 7 SIMPLE STEPS

I've always wanted bigger eyes. Always. I've thought about it loads, and I've decided that we've got Disney to blame for it. Think about it ... can you mention a single Disney princess (except for Mulan, that is) who doesn't have huge sparkling languid eyes? … Exactly!

Anyhow, that's what today's tutorial is all about, I'm going to show you 7 foolproof tips for creating BIG Beautiful Bambi Eyes.

STEP 1 - CONCEAL DARK CIRCLES

Dark circles make your eyes look tired and small. Gently apply concealer, I use LA Covergirl HD Pro Concealer or NYX full coverage HD concealer, in a triangular shape into your undereye area. Set with translucent powder. 

STEP 2 - CREATE A CHAMPAGNE PALETTE
Apply a champagne-coloured eyeshadow into the inner corner of your eyes - next to your tear duct, and entire eyelid.


STEP 3 - CONTOUR ABOVE CREASE
Grab a small fluffy brush and using a back and forth windscreen wiper motion, lightly sweep a medium brown matte eyeshadow just above the crease of your eyelid, and blend well. By blending it slightly above your crease (instead of in the crease) you're creating the illusion of a bigger, rounder eye.




STEP 4 - NUDE EYE PENCIL INCREASES THE SIZE OF YOUR EYE
Do not line your waterline with black eye khol (see right eye) - it'll shrink the size of your eye faster than you can say eek! Use a nude eye pencil instead and it'll double the size of your eyes (left eye) by making the whites of your eyes appear bigger. I swear swear swear by NYX Wonder Pencil. Absolute miracle.




STEP 5 - LINE OUTSIDE LASHES
Grab a dark brown eyeliner or dip a small flat brush into a matte dark brown eye shadow and apply it just above your top lashes. Starting from the outside edge and working your way to the middle, do the same beneath your lower lashline to make your eyes look rounder. Blend to soften.




STEP 6 - WING IT
Use a liquid or gel liner to line your lop lid and create a wing. This'll make your eye's look a lot wider.




STEP 7 - OPEN YOUR EYES
Apply mascara to both your top and bottom lashes. Mascara opens up your eyes, creating the impression of a rounder eye, giving you a wide eyed look. 

.... And helloooooo big bambi eyes!

Try it out and let me know if it works for you. Have I forgotten anything? Drop me a line if I have, and don't forget to like, comment and subscribe.


Love ya!

XXX
Amiena

TUTORIAL - HOW TO GET THE PERFECT RED LIP.

 

In my 20's magazines were always telling me that I was too young to wear a red lip ... I wore it anyway. Now years later everyone, and I mean everyone no matter what their age, is wearing it and it's brilliant!

The thing about a red lip though, is that you may as well be wearing a flashing neon sign on your head because it brings your whole face under scrutiny!  But, wear it you MUST so I've gone and pulled videos from three of my very favourite youtube makeup artist and put together a quick step-by-step on How to Get The Perfect Red Lip. 

Enjoy enjoy enjoy, and don't forget to like, comment and subscribe!

1. FACE 

Moisturise, prime and apply foundation to create an even toned skin.  If all you're needing is light coverage, you can get by with a bb cream. Blemishes or discolorations will need a medium to full coverage. Apply with a beauty blender for a smooth flawless finish and set with translucent powder.

VIDEO - Quick Foundation Routine

2. BROWS

Yes to brows! Trust me, you need them to create balance as a red lip will draw focus to the bottom half of your face and leave the rest of you drifting out there in deep space. So weed out any stray hairs with wax or a tweezer and use a matte eyeshadow or eyebrow kit to fill in any sparse bits. Apply your brow shadow sparingly in the direction of the hair growth.  
VIDEO - Easy Eyebrow Tutorial

3. EYES

Keep them simple. For everyday daytime a pale/ nude eye shadow on your lids, simple cat eye and mascara are more than sufficient to play up your red lip. For night time, think bronze eye shadow, cat eye and several coats of mascara.
VIDEO - Simple Cat Eye Tutorial 

4. CHEEKS

Blush and Bronze. A blank face with a red slash where your mouth is, is scary so sweep a light dusting of blush onto the apples of your cheeks, and bronzer along your cheekbones to add warmth to your face. 
VIDEO - How to apply blush and bronzer 

5.LIPS

Chapped, cracked or dry lips are a red lipstick nightmare, and look painful. Smooth on lip balm ahead of time. Really pat it in and once absorbed, plonk on  some more and let it sink in. Then blot off the excess and use an old toothbrush to gently remove the dry, cracked skin. Now FINALLY you can apply your lipstick. Go on, get it on and pucker up!
VIDEO - Bold Red Lip


Love ya!

XXX

Amiena